Afganistan.

You were with me last night, I know you were. I'm sorry I upset you with my comment, and I wish I never woke up so I could have continued to stay with you. When you held my hand, it was like I wa the only thing keeping you here, with me, and if I let go you would just disapear. I love you and ever day I wish more and more that you were back home, where you belong. Please come home to me, safe and sound, unchanged and happy.
"you weren't there Marina, you don't know. It was like if I answered the phone, I knew I was going todie."

Cocaine.

I have finally reached insanity. My mind races nonstop yet I'm always in such a daze. Its not the drugs, but I do blame the medication. My depressed feelings I had before are still there, just in hiding, waiting for their chance to pop back out again. I still have the desire to die, self mutilate, and partake in various dangerous activities, but I dont because I just cant even muster up the energy to do so. My emotions are trapped inside this shell, I want to let them out so people can at leave view and understand my pain, but this shell is made of steel. Pysciatrist prescribed steel.

Far Beyond Flowers and Dust.

Love; the feeling that I've lost control.

Let me walk away from this all. Everything; you, what happened, and whats next to come. Let me pierce my eyes and sew my mouth. I need to get out from under this weight that rests on my shoulders and feeling of misery etched into my mind. These pills make me want to peel off my skin and break loose from this human shell I'm trapped within. Razors could never cut deep enough to cut out all the sin I've been collecting for years, might as well keep trying. Cigarette ashes fill my lungs until I can hardly breath. Am I satisfied yet?