The pot of emotions is once again stirred.

Old feelings resurface, they're unwanted and/or unneeded. I know it'll never happen, I'm not even positive I would let it happen if the oppurtunity came around. I thought I burried my feelings for you long ago, so I don't understand how they can be coming back right now. Floods of memories from the good times. You still know me, you got me that William Control poster when I didn't even think you remembered. Even if this is an innocent act of kindness exchanged between two friends, it means a lot to me. Not many people have gotten to know me like you did, and I stopped letting people in right after you. It's hard, you were my first true love(from the eyes of a teenage girl) and that will never change. Fuck.

Oh lord.

How everything has changed so fast. I now have two homes, more freedom then I can handle, a new found depression, and a boy I can honestly say I love. I guess these past weeks have had their ups and downs.
+ Can have sleepovers with Gabe either at his house or mine.
- Maybe spending a little too much time together, fights are getting worse and over stupider things.
+ Have two houses, one right on the beach and both that I can smoke at.
- Have to keep moving all my stuff around, Mom won't drive to dads house and Dad just doesn't leave his.
With all these positive things, there's always a negative side. I still feel stuck in the middle of my parents, being forced to chose a side. So when I do decide to live with my mom part time, I'm the bad guy because everyone else was already on Dad's side. They tell me that they'll support any decision I make, but try to sway me to their side. It's rediculous, our family is at war with one another and there isn't going to be a winner. It's a bloody battle that everyone loses.