I Always Think I'm Strong Enough To Say The Words I Say.

But in the end, I always realize that I'm not.. not yet anyways.

"There are ghosts in the walls and they crawl into your head through your ear."

If this is my aspiration..

Then I need to get a move on some things. Such as, getting rid of these so called 'feelings'. No man wants to hear about those or have to deal with them. Always be the perfect woman, do anything to make your loved ones happy, and never put yourself before them or any of your responsibilites. Now that I've gotten rid of my feelings, next thing to go is any dream I have besides being the perfect housewife. Being the ideal housewife comes with lots of responsibilites and rules, one of the biggest being that, nothing can come in your way of serving the ones you love. And having dreams and aspirations to become/do anything else with your life other than what youre doing, must be dropped immediatly. By chosing this route of life, you're giving up a lot of things that most woman are too selfish to give up to serve their significant other, but the woman that do chose this way are the strong willed, the tough, and the loving. We live to serve, to feed, to nurture, to take care of, and make happy the people we decide to make close to us.

Time To Knock You Off Your Pedestal.

Waking up and turning to see that you're next to me, is one of the most blissful and heavenly feelings I have the pleasure in having.
The only thing that could possibly top that is the feeling I get when I'm falling asleep next to you.

You have always been this god-like creature to me. A saint, the perfect human being. Someone who could do no wrong because there was no bad bone in your body. Only morals and standards and unconditional love for those close to you.. It's my regret now to knock you off that pedestal that I mounted you so high up on.

People change, life constantly changes, but I kept this picture of you in my head that I thought would forever stay the same. I thought you would remain timeless, but I was wrong. Holding this image of how you used to be and how I think of you kills me the tighter I hold on, so now it's time to let go, because you're not the person I made you up to be.

I need to realize and accept the things that I cannot change.
You are not the amazing boy that's here to sweep me off my feet. You're not the wonderful person who stays by my side when I'm breaking down. You're not the lover who unconditionally loves me.

You're a human being, filled with imperfections and flaws. I can't hate you for that, because I'm that as well. I just thought you were better than the rest of us.

Forever is valueless.

You Treat Me The Best Out Of Everyone I Know.

"We're both finding outselves, and we're both kinda fucked in the head, but it's comforting to know that thousands of miles away there is someone who will always love you unconditionally."- Nathan

How Can You Expect Anyone To Love You If You Don't Even Love Youself?

I've tried to find something, anything, that's lovable in myself.
Drawing a blank.
I use people, I walk all over them, not caring about anyone but myself.
And at this point I'm not even sure if I care about myself.

You we're the closest I've ever come to loving something.
Neither family or myself have gotten that effort from me.
And even with you, I couldn't do that right.

She can make that mistake, and yes it may take years to heal it, but it will heal, it will. I will love her as hard as she hates herself for what she's done.

You make me hate myself more than I already do.

You're every insecure thought that runs through my head.
You're every detail I dispise when I look in the mirror.
You're the anger and hatred that keeps me up every night.
You're the reason I want to die.

I Want Your Every Inch Around Me.

I want you around. But I won't make you stay.